http://luchalee.wordpress.com

...so I got Sarah's "go-to" email on this titled blog...and cried my eyes out of course w/ lots of upset over the cut-up baby. It has lingered with me for the past couple of days (especially being pregnant and all). I can't make sense of it same way many other lives I have known have left me asking the big "WHY?"
I read 'most every entry and was very sad and empty feeling at the end,
but mostly b/c I didn't see any reference to this family's faith? (not at all to take away from the obvious sadness there) This is when whether you have any faith or not should become very evident,right? It's sad that so many out there don't believe in anything. WhY? Do you really think this is it? You live, suffer, die and then what? All for what? That is really depressing.
I don't push my opinions and often would prefer to keep my deeper self off of blogger.com, but in my attempt to make sense of this sad story, here goes...

I desperately HAVE TO believe my God has so much for us and carries us through anything He allows to pass through his fingers over us. I believe He is always in control through good and bad in our lives. There must be a promise and truth to "a peace that passes all understanding" or you would never survive these circumstances. Have you ever felt that and know that there is a truth to "yea,tho i walk thru the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil, thy rod and thy staff they comfort me..." ? (Let that sink in a minute) This verse came to life for me when my bro-n-law was killed in a car accident 3 yrs. ago(even tho i had heard it many times before--i never really 'got it' until that day). I remember thinking for the first time that the verse made sense--can't explain it but it did. It was shocking--Our family had just spent the week at a cabin on vacation and he was killed on the drive home--we hadn't even developed all our pictures of him yet--that's hard to wrap your brain around...I clutched onto my husband that night like i never had before and mourned for my sister's loss. I believe life is precious and fragile.
We all have heartbreaking stories that have brushed by us or happened to us. God does give His grace specifically to those in need I have heard and I have felt...so your testimony should make others say "wow". Tell somebody about the mini miracles and blessings we tend to often overlook. I have heard testimonies of people who have suffered great tragedies and they have described it as their greatest gift. That it changed the way they live their life. They are often people who live, i mean really live in the present and make every minute count for something. Their perspective seems to completely change on to what really matters here.
I read these such stories and start wondering (as many do) "what/when is it gonna be for me?"..."when am i gonna suffer through cancer? when's my dad/mom gonna die? when's my child gonna get some freak disease?" You could go crazy with all the uncertainty here. Your mind can be your worst enemy. I believe you have the power to choose what you think about;even in the worst of circumstances.
When you are pressed, whatever you have chosen to base your life upon, will come out. When my sister Keryn lost her husband Wes in that car accident that i would never wish anyone to go through--we felt a peace--there were (come to find out)people in the trauma center praying through that night as we all sat wondering if she would live and we felt it--"peace that passes understanding". I believe in prayer.
Watching her tell little Wesley (only 5yrs.old) that his daddy was gone...you felt as if you were watching s/o else's life, like this couldn't be really happening to us. I am not trying to make light and easy of any of it, but it wasn't like you thought it would be. It is her story now to share and comfort others through similar situations (maybe that's why--i don't know?)
We can't prepare for what lies in store for any of us, but i pray that my foundation is one with HOPE where I know we will have answers some day--maybe not this side of heaven, but He promises that "we will know as we are fully known". I believe WEs is in heaven and he now knows why....
My cousin whose little girl is 4yrs. old (with Down's Syndrome) going through chemo w/ all it's horrible side effects sickens me--to think if it were my child is unbearable---I personally HAVE TO BELIEVE in Christ's undying love for me and the gift of being able to grieve with hope or I would worry my life away--seriously...I could get lost thinking,"what then is the point of all this here?" The older I get the more tragedy I see and the greater I must believe...He promises me "plans of good and not evil, to give me hope and a future" (Jer.29:11) If you believe that, then really believe it. I do.
Sorry I went on and on about this but this blog was very upsetting and I just wish all people knew that they would see each other again one day in heaven and that there is a home that He prepares for us. I wish this family could grieve with hope b/c it is a different kind of grief. I know not everyone believes this but it is what sustains me. He "knows my name and knit me together in my mother's womb and counted every hair on my head". I believe He loves ME.
Sorry for sounding preachy here and I have gone on too long obviously...if you read this (titled) blog you will see why it provokes deep thought...... What do you really believe? If your world came crashing down tomorrow (and it could to any of us), How do you cope? Who/What is your "go to" power? What do you think would sustain you?