Tuesday, May 08, 2007

"I can't want that,MaMom"

I love him so much some times, it overcomes me.
My MinMan started saying,"i can't want that,MaMom" for everything BUT icecream...how can you refuse that?
That statement just makes so much sense to me...i think that we should all start saying it as for me there are daily "i can't want that" things that pop up....like yet another OB/Gyn visit--"I can't want that, doctor"

...and if the MinMan follows it w/,"Snuggle me up, MaMom"--then we are really in a puddle of love....oh, who would have thought he would "have had me at HELLO"
I keep wondering what kind of mixed up emotions i will feel about this third little person that i get to meet tomorrow---how he will grow and weave himself into my life til there will be a day that I actually can't remember my life w/o him. Right now, today, we are still a family of 4--for us, that was never meant to be all--we are soon to be a family of 5! It's weird to think that I will never again be this person I know today and somehow I will be another mother to another life--WOW!

My MinMan has been a little clingy lately as we await his new baby brother and bring more and more baby stuff into his room that he will share--i know it's hard for him as he wonders why he can't sit in the baby swing and keeps getting yelled at...so we brought out a baby doll and put it in the swing and have been practicing being gentle etc....today he has sat on the doll, piled all his blocks on her head, and put his blanket over her head--(all his way of saying "I can't want this baby brother, MaMom")--this should be a fun adjustment,huh?

(and maybe i have been a little clingy too)and it makes me feel really bad--b/c i know he doesn't get it--so he has been getting a little more icecream from "MaMom" lately (makes sense,right?) (and MaMom gets a little more ice cream too!--no harm, it just adds more to my voluptuous boobs fluid-filled-feet) I think somehow i am comforting both of us...i admit i am nervous about adding another little person to give more of "what" to? (this was my biggest adjustment from one to two kids--dividing myself)--how do you find more to give? i don't know--we find that along the way--i feel spent (as the rest of us do) but somehow i know i will manage to find a way to give yet "another little piece of my heart" away, and I know this new person on his way will steal me just like his brother and sister already have...that's the fun part...the wonder...wondering what they will look like, how they will be,and what personality they will bring to our table of 5. They are a gift. I am still wondering about them all-- their futures, where will the ride takes us as one big happy family. I have learned so much already and i know there is so much more to learn on this new kind of love...a love for my child...wow, who would have thought, I would have s/thing to do with bringing 3 of my favorite people into this world.
Anyway......
I can't believe I am having my last baby tomorrow--it is truly amazing! i don't even know what to do w/ myself although i have already started the nervous tears flowing on a whim.

Think of me on Wed. 5/9/07, girls, and be thankful it's not you, right? :0)

I will post pictures, of course, and let you all know as soon as i can! YIPPEE!

7 comments:

Dana said...

I found your blog from Trenches of Mommyhood. I remember those feelings all too well even though I had them 9 years ago!

hqm said...

Your post made me cry a bit. After our third daughter was born our family felt complete. You reminded me of all those feelings...you are blessed.
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow! And wishing you a quick and happy labor and delivery!

SPARKY said...

i totally understand why people stay at one. it's so hard to see yourself giving this much to another, all the while, giving all of yourself, still, to the first. wow.
well, i can't wait to see your new little munchkin. you'll be great.

hot potato said...

kim--i just talked to you on the phone 5/9/07--they induced you about 1 hour ago and you have your epidural! you sound tired but great. (i figured i'd put this in here for the record!)

i love this post. you should be very proud. you have two thriving, happy, well adjusted children....you are going to be just fine with baby #3.

i am also a little jealous that you are done. done with pregnancy and one step closer to saying bye-bye to all that transition that follows. as you know, i still want one more, but i have no idea how i will keep up with my two and go through pregancy...and then that whole first year!

it's the good stuff of life though. that's what you captured in your post today. good stuff.

i am praying for you. i wish i was there (with robin!) i pray your delivery is a sweet memory for you and baby.

i'll talk to you later. love you.

Melissa said...

You blog made me well up. I had so many of those same feelings the night before my induction w/baby #2 (My 2 are 16 months apart). Congratulations. I'm looking fwd to hearing all about it.

Do you remember "School House Rock"? I have that little song "Three is a Magic Number" in my mind. You should listen it. It'll make you smile. Enjoy your three.

Take advantage of the help & rest and the Ambien!! Ahhh...a few days in the hospital after a baby is the best!!!

Kerry said...

Sorry I didn't read this post soner - hope all is well with the new baby! Loved this post...

Lorilu said...

Happy Mother's Day Mommy of THREE now! Beth has been keeping me posted - I have been praying for you. I hope all is well! WELCOME HOME! :)

Brooks, "You're My Everything!"...